A friend recently posted on our message board about her personal efforts to again feel pretty as a stay-at-home-mom. It opened a good discussion about where we all are in this department, and it really struck a cord with me. A common complaint voiced by men is that once women get married they “let themselves go”. While many women don’t do this, especially those in the working world, there are plenty of women who completely justify this complaint. Stay-at-home-moms are especially guilty. I was never a high-maintenance kind of girl before I got married or had kids, but being pretty requires effort, and I’ll admit that finding the time to put forth the effort has become MUCH more challenging as I’ve had children and juggled constantly increasing responsibilities.

In my own experience as a stay-at-home-mom, I’ve never struggled with my weight or resigned myself to wearing sweats and t-shirts. I’ve always made it a priority to take a shower and brush my teeth every day. But I have been guilty of neglecting other things. Back in my pre-married/pre-kids days I wore make-up every day. AFTER the kids came along wearing my “good” make-up everyday felt like a bit of a waste. I excused myself by reasoning that the only people I ever see are my kids and my husband. My husband thinks I look good the moment I roll out of bed in the morning, and I hated smearing make-up on my kids when I hugged or kissed them. When I was doing daycare I didn’t really feel like I owed it to anyone to spend 20 minutes putting on my face in the morning. I would way rather sleep, and I certainly needed that to make it through the day with 4-6 little kids running all over the place! Make-up became something I only did if I was going out. Back in the daycare days it was rare for me to leave the house more than once a week, though. So yea, I dropped the make-up.

Clothes were another thing that kind of fell by the wayside. Before I had kids dressing “cute” was a priority to me. Things changed after I got pregnant for the first time. I’ve bought clothes over the years. Mostly maternity clothes, since those were an absolute necessity. But the rest have been few and far between. I think it’s fairly common for a mom to go out shopping, needing a few things for herself, and come home with new clothes or shoes for the kids instead. They are continually growing, and constantly needing new stuff. It’s easy to look at new clothes for myself as a mere want instead of a need. And then, kids are HARD on clothes, even Mommy’s. With young kids, spit-up, snot, pee, etc. constantly find their way onto my clothes. There’s no re-wearing an item that didn’t get dirty. It’s all dirty every day. Clothes that require ironing are daunting at best, and dry clean only clothes are no longer even considered. I have some gorgeous Ann Taylor dresses hanging in my closet that have been hanging there for 6 years now. I am happy that they still fit. I occasionally pull them out and try them on to reassure myself that they aren’t wasting space. But a lot of my stuff has been looking a little worn.

I turned 30 this year, and I have to admit that I am not one of those women who is gracefully embracing aging. It’s sometimes painful to look into the mirror and realize that some parts of my body have been eternally sacrificed to the bearing and nurturing of my children and they will never be the same. The gray hairs will not decrease in number. The smile lines around my eyes will most likely grow deeper. I’ve been having a bit of a pity party for the last couple of months, but thanks to my friend it finally occurred to me that I have at least 15 good years left and I am NOT going to waste them!

I totally had to change everything I have let myself think for the last six years and drop the excuses. For me being pretty is all about how I feel about myself. My husband can tell me that I am pretty every day, but if I don’t feel that way it won’t make any difference. So I’ve determined to go back to putting in the effort every day to making myself feel pretty. This requires a little bit of sacrifice because it can take a lot of time! But it is totally worth it. I pull out my make-up, blow-dryer (which has been retired for almost seven years), curing iron, hairspray, lotions, and perfumes on an almost daily basis now. I purposefully bought myself some new t-shirts to wear with my summer skirts, and some new material to make some new skirts and sundresses. I feel like a brand new woman! I am still a stay-at-home-mom who rarely sees anyone, but I feel so much better about myself and happier in general. Why I let myself fall into that fatal rut is beyond me. I hope it never happens again. If I’m going to be a stay-at-home-mom, I want to be the kind of woman that guys hope their girl will be when they get married and have kids. If I can do that, I’ve redeemed myself.